I am so tired. Nothing I do will ever be good enough. I try to keep going and mantain myself functional but I just want to sleep and wither away. I can't cause I know I have people that care about me and I don't want to make them suffer because of me. But everyday I go to sleep hoping I die in my sleep or something. Idk what else to do anymore. I tried therapy, I tried improving my lifestyle, but I always end up the same. I want to be happy but and it sucks so much because...I am so tired. Nothing I do will ever be good enough. I try to keep going and mantain myself functional but I just want to sleep and wither away. I can't cause I know I have people that care about me and I don't want to make them suffer because of me. But everyday I go to sleep hoping I die in my sleep or something. Idk what else to do anymore. I tried therapy, I tried improving my lifestyle, but I always end up the same. I want to be happy but and it sucks so much because sometimes, for a small glimpse I am, but then everything falls apart again. Over, and over again. I don't know how much longer I can keep going.
Sometimes I look around myself and I start to notice the way the air feels colder than the usual warmth, the day feels a little less shorter, your teacher is slowly loosing her temper, your friend distances from you little by little, your skin looks a little bit bruised from your constant running, you seem to reach the top of your cabinet in your bathroom when you werent able to before, you see that one person trying to prove their intelligence, the other one that seems be missing for 2 days, and the buildup of tension. What I'm describing is...Sometimes I look around myself and I start to notice the way the air feels colder than the usual warmth, the day feels a little less shorter, your teacher is slowly loosing her temper, your friend distances from you little by little, your skin looks a little bit bruised from your constant running, you seem to reach the top of your cabinet in your bathroom when you werent able to before, you see that one person trying to prove their intelligence, the other one that seems be missing for 2 days, and the buildup of tension. What I'm describing is a phenomenon that probably has a name to it but I like to call it an unexplainable phenomenon, one that does not require words. All around you, you start to notice small things and put them together. You feel overstimulated and hate noticing small things, you hate picking up things, and sometimes its too much. Sometimes you feel backhanded aswell. It's annoying, why am I like this? I mean, the urge to not compliment your friend because she already recieves a lot of compliments, the urge to not share your scores because your image will be ruined. When I was younger, I never had the issue of concealing my grades because they were perfect and actually I loved showing them around. Once they started dropping, I was not happy about it. I felt horrible sharing it It wasnt nice enough to be shown like that one trophy thats too old but yet, its still a trophy. I wonder if this makes me a bad person in general. Everything feels barged at you at once. You just dont wanna give in. Animosity probably is the reason you feel this way, instead of being happy for others, you're jealous. That's not a true friend, you are a horrible friend. ###### I am shamed. I am telling my truths. Yes I thought your top was cute but I didnt say anything to humble you, yes I got a 77 when I said I got a 91, yes I don't understand how to do something even though I mention I wouldn't explain it right, I would just overcomplicate it, yes I lied about my SAT score when I had gotten the lowest score out of everybody. People have this high image of me that I recieve the highest grades, I'm perfect, and yes I do acknowledge I was part of pseudo science. Yes I am falsley intellient.
I was manipulated when I was 19. I am now a 26 year-old male with autism. I was manipulated online by people, younger and older than me when I first got onto role-playing apps. It messed with my mind so much and it made me act in ways that I never even wanted to. If many people looked at it from their perspectives, they would see me as a monster, but I assure you I had no choice in the matter of my own volition. I was Manipulated unknowingly.
I’ve since kicked bad material and role-playing apps out of my...I was manipulated when I was 19. I am now a 26 year-old male with autism. I was manipulated online by people, younger and older than me when I first got onto role-playing apps. It messed with my mind so much and it made me act in ways that I never even wanted to. If many people looked at it from their perspectives, they would see me as a monster, but I assure you I had no choice in the matter of my own volition. I was Manipulated unknowingly.
I’ve since kicked bad material and role-playing apps out of my life for good now. People online are toxic and influence people to become degenerates like them.
I just found this site. I could have ended the thing with this guy but with the other guy that is impossible to meet i am gonna let him go so i am left with nothing
I miss home. But can't go back due to civil war there. I am left here in foreign land with lot of troubles and broken heart. I miss mom and dad. I wish my mom could hug me while everything is not okay.
I bestfriend rejected my love for her. It has been almost a year. I could not move on, feel depressed and hurt. This pain is like a sword in my chest. I even travelled to another continent where she is now, just to go see her because she told me she missed me. I never realized before but there I knew that she is talking to someone, which she proclaimers to be just a friend. She even told me she rejected him as he is just a friend and not even an option for her. She told me I am...I bestfriend rejected my love for her. It has been almost a year. I could not move on, feel depressed and hurt. This pain is like a sword in my chest. I even travelled to another continent where she is now, just to go see her because she told me she missed me. I never realized before but there I knew that she is talking to someone, which she proclaimers to be just a friend. She even told me she rejected him as he is just a friend and not even an option for her. She told me I am her best friend so she could not love me. I was never an option too for her and don't want to lose me. Now, I found out that she is now dating a guy who she told me that it's just a friend. I felt been played by her during these months. I tried my best to stop texting her because she is never consistent replying to me, but when I stop she gives me breadcrumbs again and this cycle has been continuous. I feel like I am being used. I feel like I lost my best friend who I trusted. I feel like I lost a soul-mate. I lost a part of myself and my heart shattered in pieces. I am sure she could not even care and now is happy with that dude, while I am completely broken. Its not like I cannot get other girls. I feel disappointed and hurt about the rejection from the person closest to you and who I really care for.
So I told my crush that i liked him for a while and he gave me his number... but as the extrovert that he is, he told HALF THE BOYS SO NOW EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY GUY FRIENDS KNOW THAT I LIKE HIM BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I LIKE HIM ANYMORE