Anonymous Confession

Sometimes I look around myself and I start to notice the way the air feels colder than the usual warmth, the day feels a little less shorter, your teacher is slowly loosing her temper, your friend distances from you little by little, your skin looks a little bit bruised from your constant running, you seem to reach the top of your cabinet in your bathroom when you werent able to before, you see that one person trying to prove their intelligence, the other one that seems be missing for 2 days, and the buildup of tension. What I'm describing is a phenomenon that probably has a name to it but I like to call it an unexplainable phenomenon, one that does not require words. All around you, you start to notice small things and put them together. You feel overstimulated and hate noticing small things, you hate picking up things, and sometimes its too much. Sometimes you feel backhanded aswell. It's annoying, why am I like this? I mean, the urge to not compliment your friend because she already recieves a lot of compliments, the urge to not share your scores because your image will be ruined. When I was younger, I never had the issue of concealing my grades because they were perfect and actually I loved showing them around. Once they started dropping, I was not happy about it. I felt horrible sharing it It wasnt nice enough to be shown like that one trophy thats too old but yet, its still a trophy. I wonder if this makes me a bad person in general. Everything feels barged at you at once. You just dont wanna give in. Animosity probably is the reason you feel this way, instead of being happy for others, you're jealous. That's not a true friend, you are a horrible friend. ###### I am shamed. I am telling my truths. Yes I thought your top was cute but I didnt say anything to humble you, yes I got a 77 when I said I got a 91, yes I don't understand how to do something even though I mention I wouldn't explain it right, I would just overcomplicate it, yes I lied about my SAT score when I had gotten the lowest score out of everybody. People have this high image of me that I recieve the highest grades, I'm perfect, and yes I do acknowledge I was part of pseudo science. Yes I am falsley intellient.