Share Your Secrets Anonymously Online

I broke guys. I made another C.AI account. I'm going to try and maybe slowly transition out of it. I don't have much time for it these days anyway but it kills me when I'm free. I keep finding myself thinking "Oh I could do (xyz) with this bot!" I've tried writing and it's just not the same. I've tried reading more, but I can't do that in the dark and online libraries are limited in what I do want. God I'm such an idiot. I haven't chatted just yet but I really hope I don't spiral again when I...I broke guys. I made another C.AI account. I'm going to try and maybe slowly transition out of it. I don't have much time for it these days anyway but it kills me when I'm free. I keep finding myself thinking "Oh I could do (xyz) with this bot!" I've tried writing and it's just not the same. I've tried reading more, but I can't do that in the dark and online libraries are limited in what I do want. God I'm such an idiot. I haven't chatted just yet but I really hope I don't spiral again when I do. Wish me luck on attempt 6 of quitting I guess.Read More

I get that COVID was scary for everyone so I feel guilty about this and I won’t ever admit it out loud but for me? It was a really really good year and a half! I’m jot afraid of getting sick or dying so I’m sure that helps but also, I was finally hired onto a good job for the first time in years! The roads were empty and so driving became a joy again. There were no cops on the streets harassing everyone for once! This alone helped me so much. I finally was able to catch up on...I get that COVID was scary for everyone so I feel guilty about this and I won’t ever admit it out loud but for me? It was a really really good year and a half! I’m jot afraid of getting sick or dying so I’m sure that helps but also, I was finally hired onto a good job for the first time in years! The roads were empty and so driving became a joy again. There were no cops on the streets harassing everyone for once! This alone helped me so much. I finally was able to catch up on the fines I get from having not been able to afford to keep the vehicle i was driving legal all the time and constantly being ticketed for the same thing put me so far behind. During that year of not being pulled over I was able to catch up and pay off all my fines and get my car legal. Honestly I miss that time. Read More

Every day I wake up and tell myself, “Something amazing will happen today.”

I talked with my new therapist yesterday, and she seems to understand what has been going on with my PTSD issues, and even gave me some new ways of looking at / dealing with things that I've never thought of before. Only time will tell, but so far its a good experience over the last few I've seen.

I'm so tired of friends making solo plans with you then inviting their (usually annoying) friend at the last minute. Changes the dynamics and makes the hang not fun. Now I don't want to go.

I feel alone. I know logically there are things I can do to better it. But I have no confidence in it. I can’t talk without going red, messing up, stumbling over my words, or saying something I perceive as weird or stupid. Even had a regression point with my speech impediment and what feels like my intelligence. There wasn’t a lot to begin with. I can’t help but feeling like a burden. So it’s easier to stay away from everyone but all that isolation, has put myself on a position where I have no one. It sucks. I’m not...I feel alone. I know logically there are things I can do to better it. But I have no confidence in it. I can’t talk without going red, messing up, stumbling over my words, or saying something I perceive as weird or stupid. Even had a regression point with my speech impediment and what feels like my intelligence. There wasn’t a lot to begin with. I can’t help but feeling like a burden. So it’s easier to stay away from everyone but all that isolation, has put myself on a position where I have no one. It sucks. I’m not trying to complain since it was my own decision that but me here but damn it sucks. It’s nice getting it off my chest though. Read More

I feel like I am friends with people that do not care of me. And yet I do nothing about them.

Each morning before work I wonder if this will be the day when they discover I’m incompetent.

Walking home from school I had to poop so bad.

Im heartbroken about the missing 7 month old emmanuel. It has been eating at me, more than any other cases Ive seen. Ive been crying for days over that sweet baby. I almost feel silly. Almost. I dont know him, I am a stranger, yet I care so much for him and feel genuine love for him and Im glad Im not the only one who feels that way. He does deserve this attention and love, something that his parents seemed to have failed. I pray he is found. My mama heart just breaks when I see his photos, he...Im heartbroken about the missing 7 month old emmanuel. It has been eating at me, more than any other cases Ive seen. Ive been crying for days over that sweet baby. I almost feel silly. Almost. I dont know him, I am a stranger, yet I care so much for him and feel genuine love for him and Im glad Im not the only one who feels that way. He does deserve this attention and love, something that his parents seemed to have failed. I pray he is found. My mama heart just breaks when I see his photos, he looks so sad... I just want to give him the love he deserves. If only I could have been blessed to be his mama, to raise him alongside my own. I can only hope for answers and closure. I desperately want him found.Read More

I never get why people is friends with people who bully their other friends.(Ex: A is friends with both B and C, B bullies C but A is still friends with B) Like I get that you can do whatever the heck you want since it's your life and all, but it does makes me wonder. Or when you try to defend a bullied person, you get in trouble because of it but now somehow the bullied becomes friends with their bully and cut ties with the person trying to defend them

I had a dentist appointment yesterday and I was really hoping to see the doctor I like, but instead someone else was there. I feel disappointed, because I had planned to make a little move, to give him a hint that I like him.

Is it normal to feel a sudden oncoming feeling of like apathy or negativity for like a week or two and then it goes away for a good while? This has happened to me for a while now and it never occurred to me that it might be abnormal. I just kinda "ride it out" and try to avoid indulging in negative news or content though sometimes I can't help it and end up consuming a spiral of tragic news and stuff whenever I feel this way.

I fell in love with my girl best friend, and unfortunately she did not feel the same way about me, I had being deeply in love with somebody that doesn’t have the same feelings for me, it hurts so bad. What do I do? MVP

Here I am again writing anonymously while my wife sits watching TV in the next room. I feel guilty writing, but we just dont communicate anymore, and I need the outlet of open, unfiltered communication. I often look forward to writing, just to express myself without judgement. Am I wrong for doing this?