i sometimes wonder if my partner will ever be happy with me. i dont know if they would like the gifts im making them for christmas. it feels so hard to be the only one in my life telling myself im okay or to keep going.
so i just know that my best friend have a crush on me but he decline, ik cause he tell it to his friend and his friend gave me the video of them talking on the phone but today i just found out that he is d#ting a another girl, soo did he like me or not cause maybe i might have feeling for him
I feel stuck, I don't know what to do or feel anymore.I left everything behind moved to a different country to be with my spouse, loved him very much but he doesn't seem to be interested in me anymore.We are faithful to one another. He is in his world and is neglectful of me. He is not changing despite being told how I feel. I met someone at work who seemed to be very caring and always protected me,helped me without expecting anything from me. And we kept our distance and never spoke except if it's work related.Kept our gaze...I feel stuck, I don't know what to do or feel anymore.I left everything behind moved to a different country to be with my spouse, loved him very much but he doesn't seem to be interested in me anymore.We are faithful to one another. He is in his world and is neglectful of me. He is not changing despite being told how I feel. I met someone at work who seemed to be very caring and always protected me,helped me without expecting anything from me. And we kept our distance and never spoke except if it's work related.Kept our gaze down and mutually avoided one another many times yet we seem to actually bump into one another or accidentally in awkward situations like bumping into one another physically while trying to avoid , or dropping things while handing it to the other. We had trust between us and unspoken bond despite trying not to feel anyway about this person, and I found out he has a GF and he knew I have a spouse and we mutually avoided while feeling drawn to one another, he always helped sometimes indirectly made my life much easier and feeling cared while being in distance. And one day he left without a word. I tried to text to ask if he is coming back to work and no reply and found he joined other work through his social media. We never added one another in social media, and I miss him terribly and it is intensely painful not being able to see him again, I wish I could still see him again or work with him even if we never speak, I keep hoping he could call me once and say how he feels towards me. But he won't he has his partner and he knows I have spouse. This bond has no name,but it shattered me more than anything I felt in my life. This isn't my first heart break in life but this was very strong despite not speaking a word to one another. I am trying to let go of his memories and thoughts. I pray I can live without his thoughts again. I am back once again into the sadness I feel single while I am married . I can't go after other relationships like single people either. I don't feel this way about other people either but him. This pain is too much to bear. I hope I will heal from this in future.
I want to help everyone and empathize with others pain so deeply yet I can’t even manage to help myself. Why do I love so deeply? Why do I feel so deeply? It feels great to be alive but I’m tired of suffering.
I've been in love with my best friend for about 5 years now, but ill never tell her. It hurts to see her chase after guys but id rather be her best friend than not have her in my life at all
I'm still hopelessly in love with my friend's ex from way back. I didn't make a move because of our friendship. This girl and I had a great connection. I regret not pursuing her. She was the one..
My dad got diagnosed with a genetic disease and I have seven siblings and we have a 50/50 chance of getting it.. it ki*ls you there's no known cures nothing to slow it either and it turns you into a je*k literally eats your brain cells and you can only care about yourself because of that.. I knew something was wrong with my dad cuz he's not kind but I really don't want that to happen to me I'm scared sad and feel completely alone I hope I don't have it but I don't know!!...My dad got diagnosed with a genetic disease and I have seven siblings and we have a 50/50 chance of getting it.. it ki*ls you there's no known cures nothing to slow it either and it turns you into a je*k literally eats your brain cells and you can only care about yourself because of that.. I knew something was wrong with my dad cuz he's not kind but I really don't want that to happen to me I'm scared sad and feel completely alone I hope I don't have it but I don't know!! And what about my siblings?? And my poor mom!! she's Struggling bad please pray
I have some and no guilt. I done something 6 years ago that I regret. I feel like I’ve moved on from it and learned from this mistake but I’m terrified that my life will blow up in front of me. I am so happy with my life, I have no drama for the first time in years and I feel like it’s coming to the surface all over again. How do I move forward and forget all about it?!
December 4th, 2024
Okay, here we go again. Another night of me overthinking my life, writing to these blank pages because no one else will listen. I’m tired. Like, soul-crushingly tired. Not the kind of tired that sleep fixes, but the kind that comes from being so damn sad all the time.
It’s him. It’s always him.
I don’t even know where to start because it all feels like a fever dream now. How did I go from never knowing his name to making him my entire world? Like, how does that even happen? I still remember when I was just the nosy...December 4th, 2024
Okay, here we go again. Another night of me overthinking my life, writing to these blank pages because no one else will listen. I’m tired. Like, soul-crushingly tired. Not the kind of tired that sleep fixes, but the kind that comes from being so damn sad all the time.
It’s him. It’s always him.
I don’t even know where to start because it all feels like a fever dream now. How did I go from never knowing his name to making him my entire world? Like, how does that even happen? I still remember when I was just the nosy girl in **** Sir’s class, always poking him about his family. I’d ask him over and over about his brother because I was curious, you know? I mean, who wouldn’t be? He’s our favorite teacher, the coolest one in the whole gang. We all knew he had a brother, but Sir was weirdly secretive about it. For months, I’d ask, “Sir, what’s your brother’s name?” and he’d just laugh it off.
Then, on the last day of school, he finally said it. “***.” I don’t know why that name stuck with me, but it did. It’s like I unlocked this little mystery about him, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
And then came online coaching for O’levels. Surprise, surprise—he was there too. Not as ***, though. No, he was ************. God, we used to roast that username so hard. And his profile picture? Kakashi from Naruto. Classic anime fanboy energy. At first, that’s all I knew about him. A username, a pfp, and a name I couldn’t get out of my head.
I didn’t even know what his voice sounded like until he showed up in our other cool teacher and **** sir's best friend ***** Sir’s class. And let me tell you , the first time I heard him speak? I was done for. His voice was... I can’t even describe it. Deep, smooth, with this slight edge that made me want to hear it again and again.
But we didn’t talk. I was too shy, and he was just… there. Mysterious, untouchable, someone I never thought I’d get close to. Until one day, he messaged me. Out of nowhere. I was scrolling through my phone, and there it was: ***. My heart stopped. He wanted help with business homework. That’s how it started.
At first, it was casual. Just small talks here and there. Then he blocked me. No explanation, no warning. Just poof. Gone. I told myself it didn’t matter. We weren’t even close. But months later, he unblocked me, and when we started talking again, it was like something clicked. In one day, we went from awkward mates to being glued to each other.
We talked about everything—his life, his toxic girlfriend, ****** (who, btw was the reason why he blocked me the first time), his dreams, his family, his freaking guitar skills. He had this thing of making every tiny thing special for me. Who knew sending voice messages could mean so much to me? He opened up to me in a way that felt so raw, so real. And yeah, I helped him through his mess with ******. She was awful to him. Manipulative, selfish, a total wreck.
And then, somewhere in the middle of all those late-night chats and calls, I fell for him. It wasn’t planned; it just… happened.
When he asked me if I liked him, I panicked. I mean, what was I supposed to say? “No, I’m just here for emotional support?” Yeah, right. I told him the truth. “Yes, I like you.” And when he said he liked me too, my heart exploded.
Things moved so fast after that. He broke up with ****, and suddenly, he was mine. MY ***. The boy I never thought I’d get close to was now the center of my universe. He was everything I’d ever wanted. Sweet, flirty, romantic. Like, book-boyfriend level perfection. We’d talk 24/7, and every message felt like a little love letter. Me being a fan-girl with obsession for every kind of thing related to romance, this was literal heaven to which even I couldn't believe was happening to me
But of course, nothing good ever lasts, does it? Well at least for me it doesn't.
My mom found out. She was furious. Then **** Sir found out, and all hell broke loose. He was angry, disappointed, hurt—all of it. I get it now, but at the time, it felt like the world was turning against us. We stopped talking for two months. Two months of pure hell.
When things finally calmed down, we tried again. Secretly, of course. But **** Sir wasn’t stupid. He caught us again. And that was it. *** chose his family over me which is understandable and I don’t blame him for that. But if this love was true, he could have fought for us. I would’ve fought for him. But what happened happened. He blocked me, and I woke up to nothing. No goodbye. Just silence.
My best friend and our common friend ****** was the one who told me why. He’d sent her this long message explaining how he couldn’t hurt his brother anymore, how we wouldn’t work anyway. I read those words over and over, hoping they’d make sense. They didn’t.
Now he wants to be friends. Friends. After everything we had, he wants to go back to being strangers who pretend to care. It hurts. It hurts so much. I can’t move on, but he has. He’s fine. He’s happy. And I’m here, stuck in this endless loop of “what ifs.”
What if we never told anyone? What if things were different? What if he still loved me?
I still LOVE HIM. But I don’t want to love him anymore. I don’t want to hurt anymore. Please, God, help me forget. Help me let him go. It hurts so much, God. I have no one to cry to—no one. I’m so alone, so helpless, so worthless, so broken.
When you love each other so much but have to break up for your family’s happiness… that’s what’s happening to me now. And I hate it. I don’t want to feel like this. I want to be happy. I want to feel alive again. This year is ending in a month, but my year ended that october night he blocked me.
After that, it was like none of it ever happened. Like all those moments we shared were just erased. He was the one boy I actually enjoyed talking to, the one who made me laugh, who made me feel like myself. When I first met him, I never thought he’d become this important to me.
Now I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m failing at everything—my studies, my life. My teachers are disappointed in me. My parents don’t understand me. And *** was the only one who did. He was the one place I could go, the one person who made everything feel bearable.
I miss him. I miss everything about him—his voice, his fluffy hair, his laugh, the way he made me feel like I was enough. He set the bar so high that no one will ever reach it. I don’t want to love him anymore, but I don’t know how to stop.
I wish I could hate him. But I can’t. All I can do is miss him and hope this pain goes away one day. I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from ever falling for him or ever confessing to him. Maybe then, I wouldn’t be sitting here, staring at my phone, hoping for a message that will never come as a lover, but as a “friend”.
God, please. Just help me forget. Help me let him go. I can’t keep doing this to myself.