I have a crush on my teacher and I feel so guilty because it's inappropriate and it'll hurt him if he ever finds out. but this crush won't go away, it's been like a month maybe, since I felt it for the first time, and I ignored it thinking it's nothing serious just a fleeting emotion, but turns out it has intensified. and I feel so guilty about it that I can't face him and so I'm not going to his classes but I can't avoid it forever since my exam is coming. idk what to do and I can't definitely tell anyone I know, it will ruin everything and it will just idk... it will make them perceive me a certain way and I hate to think about that. I just wanted to get this off my chest. it's ridiculous really, it just makes no sense but at the same time I feel something and I hate that I feel something because this is bad. urgh idk what to do but I hate this feeling
continuation; I feel like the reason I felt drawn to him is because, he's so cheerful and like explains things so easily that I became interested in a subject I'm so bad at and it just seemed so appealing to me even though that's like the bare minimum maybe, but it's like I feel attracted because of these reasons among others... and it's not like I ever wanna initiate anything but it's just that... I feel attracted to him even though it is wrong and I don't know how to make it stop. oh I'm not a minor btw but he's like in his 30s maybe so the age gap makes it even more wrong... I just don't know how I got myself into this shit but I don't know how to stop... I find myself looking at his photos in his socials and honestly it kinda disgusts me that I'm doing it but I can't stop... idk what to do how to make it stop.