I had a long therapist appointment the other day at the veterans hospital. It went well, but reliving the past is hard to do, even though you will never forget the trauma either. Talking has helped, but the people I cant talk to about my life hurts the most, and thats my family. They dont know of the horrors, and I dont want them to look at me differently than they do now as a son, brother, husband, father, grandfather, uncle, etc., Its hard trying to keep one part of my life to myself and the other part as a different person, even though we are one in the same. Having a therapist helps, since they already know my life.....just need someone to save me, and tell me that I'm a good person.
Thank you
I dont know what you did, but you seem to regret it. You are a good person.
You didn't choose to experience trauma, but you accepted that possibility with you joined the military. They should understand that you suffer from things you didn't want to experience. Introduce them to your mental health problems very slowly and many people will understand. By slowly, I'm talking about over the course of 1-2 years.