I miss who I was before the abuse, before that monster got ahold of me as a child. I remember who I was and I grieve her. I miss who I was before I got sick with meningitis and brain swelling, I know im lucky to be alive but im forever changed, I struggle with basic tasks sometimes and I feel stupid before I got sick I was an great student, I could draw speak 2 languages and play 3 instruments and was taking college level classes at 14. Illness ruined me, monsters stole my childhood and Illness stole my gifts, poverty stole my future. The Illness took my happy memories and made them blurry, my hands that used to play beautiful balleds now shake constantly. I grieve who I was before
You're not alone. I'm so sorry you're going this. I know firsthand that it's a lifelong issue. I'm truly wishing the best for you