I don't feel like I used to anymore.
My mom is dead. Circumstances have driven me to cut away from my birth family. I have spent 20 years around them, and I have come to know that being with them hurt me more than it made me feel safe. I left my father, I have gone no contact. It doesn't feel right, but these things never do. But I understand that he is my father, he had one job, and he fucked up on it.
I am in arguably the best place in my life right now, I am going to college, I am free from the metaphysical chains my family had placed upon me, and yet I cannot feel joy. All I feel is a writhing, restless anger, but even then, I am too tired to act upon them. I am free, and yet I still feel trapped. I am surrounded by people, and yet I still feel alone.
Maybe one day this feeling will pass, and I'll never feel like this ever again.
3,000 miles away, years later in now in the military… I thought it would make me happy.
I casually called my father one day.
We could go all day about what's wrong with me, and what's wrong with him, but I just call to see that he's doing alright.
He's just a normal dude, and so am I. It is to assume that we, ourselves, have not received any grace, when we point out only the flaws in others. Galatians 6:1
Years later, thousands of miles away in the military...
I casually called my father.
I could go all day about what is wrong with me, and what is wrong with him. He's just a regular dude, and so am I.
I just call to see that he's doing alright.
Galatians 6:1