I'm constantly on edge. I am always afraid that if I allow myself to be happy, to think about something unfamiliar, something bad will immediately happen. The universe will punish me. Even now, as I am writing this text, I am afraid that something bad will happen because of this. I don't know how to control it or what to do about it. I don't know what to do and it's interfering with my life. I'm just scared.
"I am NOT a doctor", but I have the same type of problem and it was diagnosed as and anxiety disorder after retiring from the military. Here is an example of how mine is classified. "Agoraphobia:
Phobic disorder involving the specific anxiety about being in a place or situation where escape is difficult or embarrassing or where help may not be unavailable". I've been seen by a therapist, and taking a low dose prescription that has helped me. Seek help, and you may feel better.