When I was 6 I watched a movie about a clown who ate basically only kids and could shapeshift into anyone I don’t remember the name of the movie but after I watched it I thought the clown shapeshifted into my mom and I was so scared of her so I wouldn’t go close to her bcuz I thought she was gonna eat me
It's hard not to give up in times like these.
I'm a total bum living of her parents money, no future and no aspirations. The only reason I'm still alive is because I couldnt ever leave behind my brother. I live only through my family's money and yet it's that same family that pushed me into this hole. There's a light on the horizon, someone trusted willing and able to help me, but am I even strong enough to overcome all this with what little strength I have left?
When my only response to trying and not getting it perfect is the...It's hard not to give up in times like these.
I'm a total bum living of her parents money, no future and no aspirations. The only reason I'm still alive is because I couldnt ever leave behind my brother. I live only through my family's money and yet it's that same family that pushed me into this hole. There's a light on the horizon, someone trusted willing and able to help me, but am I even strong enough to overcome all this with what little strength I have left?
When my only response to trying and not getting it perfect is the violent urge to never try again, what am I supposed to do? I hate trying and failing and giving up after one try, because that's all my family ever did, try once and give up if it didn't fix itself, leaving me in the dust and ignoring the problem.
I hope that this chance given to me won't prove to be the end of me. I hope I will learn to do more than simply survive on others tolerance of me.
I'm sitting here wishing that I had made better decisions, and was more open with others about how I feel about them. As I get older, and my health is getting worse, I feel that I have missed so much time.
I feel guilty, but I hope it never changes-- I get paid $80,000 a year to basically watch YouTube and play on Discord all day. I live in constant fear of my bosses realizing that I don't contribute anything, but all of the needs of my job position are met. It's just that the position isn't really necessary.
I'm feeling really sad right now. My friends aren't listening to me, and I just feel kind of shut out. I want to be listened to, but nobody seems like they want to hear. So I just smile and hope nobody sees through me and how sad I really am.
I'm feeling bad right now. I have no one to talk to. I mean... I have a good friend, but for some reason I feel like I can't tell her or anyone else about my problems.
Even though I have a friend, I feel so lonely. It's as if something has left me, and I don't know what it is.
I'm so afraid of upcoming things in my life.
Every time I go out, go to class or communicate with people, I feel weird. It's as if I'm bad at everything, worse than them. I feel embarrassed for no reason.
I can't do anything...I'm feeling bad right now. I have no one to talk to. I mean... I have a good friend, but for some reason I feel like I can't tell her or anyone else about my problems.
Even though I have a friend, I feel so lonely. It's as if something has left me, and I don't know what it is.
I'm so afraid of upcoming things in my life.
Every time I go out, go to class or communicate with people, I feel weird. It's as if I'm bad at everything, worse than them. I feel embarrassed for no reason.
I can't do anything about it. I wish I could. I just wait for someone to come up to me and ask if I wanna be friends... I know I would never do that to someone because I'm afraid. I'm always friendly and kind, I try to do the right thing. But I'll never make the first move. I feel like I'll be rejected immediately, and I'll feel awkward and ashamed again. It's hard to deal with such feeling when it haunts you constantly.
I think I just want to hear some advice. I'm so confused and don't know what to do with my life.
I failed at so many things this year. Me, the person who usually achieves everything, failed at every damn thing I set out to do. I did not have one success this year and that hurts...deeply. But I'm suppressing my pain, because I don't want to face my disgust with myself. I hope things change for the better eventually. I am so disappointed in myself.
My heart has been aching and beating so fast, I want to confess so bad but I can't because I know I'd get rejected and things will change between us... It feels unreal I haven't loved anyone like this before and I'm just gonna fumble omfg 🥀
Lately, I've been feeling pretty miserable. It's as if I'm waiting for something, but I don't understand what. All I feel is shame, sadness, longing, disgust. To be honest... I feel worse than I did last year. Last year, when I was just sad, I could talk about it and cry. But now I can't do anything. I've closed myself off from others as much as possible, stopped talking about myself, stopped talking about anything at all. I just listen. I have this heavy feeling inside, but I can't express it. Nothing helps.
The school year is about to start... And...Lately, I've been feeling pretty miserable. It's as if I'm waiting for something, but I don't understand what. All I feel is shame, sadness, longing, disgust. To be honest... I feel worse than I did last year. Last year, when I was just sad, I could talk about it and cry. But now I can't do anything. I've closed myself off from others as much as possible, stopped talking about myself, stopped talking about anything at all. I just listen. I have this heavy feeling inside, but I can't express it. Nothing helps.
The school year is about to start... And I haven't been able to deal with how I feel. I haven't done anything useful this summer. I've been thinking about strange things... And so time has flown by.
I feel so lonely. Not in terms of love or relationships, as I don't need romance. I am lonely among people... I have no friends. Life has been tough on me these past couple of years, but I could have coped with it. But I couldn't.
I just want to disappear, but not die. To go somewhere where my head isn't filled with horrible thoughts, fixations and constant self-criticism. Why am I so afraid to feel like a human being?
I understand that these are all silly teenage problems, but realising this fact does not help me get rid of these feelings. It's as if my mind and emotions live separately. And I can't do anything about it. I just feel like something is really off. I understand the reasons, their consequences, theoretical solutions. But I can't help myself. I seem to not care, but... it doesn't give me peace. It's such a contradiction.
To my best friend: I AM SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU FOR BEING ALIVE!!!! You have been through so much and I am so so proud of you for continuing to fight this long. I am so proud of you for continuing to be an amazing and nice and supportive and understanding person despite the shit you’ve been through. I hope you know how much I and many other people care about you. I hope you know that no matter what happens you always have a support system and community that is there for you no matter what happens. I...To my best friend: I AM SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU FOR BEING ALIVE!!!! You have been through so much and I am so so proud of you for continuing to fight this long. I am so proud of you for continuing to be an amazing and nice and supportive and understanding person despite the shit you’ve been through. I hope you know how much I and many other people care about you. I hope you know that no matter what happens you always have a support system and community that is there for you no matter what happens. I hope you understand and I mean really understand that you do not deserve any of the shit you get from your parents and siblings and that you did not deserve to go through any of that. You are doing the right thing and I mean it when I say that. Even if the situation you’re in tries to take you away from your friends and this community, we won’t let you leave (unless you want to lol) we’ll always be here to support you through anything and everything (unless you like kill a bunch of people or something idfk) You are a complete and total dumbass sometimes but you’re literally one of the most smartest, strongest, nice, most caring, understanding, supportive, and funny people I know. You have
helped me and so many other people, you introduced me to MCR, the band that ended up saving my life and getting me into so many other bands and TUA and invader zim and emo/scene/punk/alt culture and I am forever thankful for that, you helped me and made me feel safe enough to talk to you when I first cut, you helped me come out to my parents, istg you helped make half of our friend group feel safe enough to figure out their gender and sexuality. oh yeah also I forgot to tell you at window solstice /ij, bitch idk how the fuck you are still alive right now but i am so proud of you and i love you sm /p and i hope you know that.
Lost and Fading
I left home carrying my scars and dreams, hoping Melbourne would be my fresh start — a place where I could finally breathe after years of darkness. I thought I’d find light here, but instead, the weight feels even heavier.
Everywhere I turn, it feels like I’m breaking a little more. Friends, people I once trusted, connections I thought were real — all fading away one by one. Even only friend my only anchor, feels like a distant echo now. And without that, I feel like I’m standing on the edge of everything, holding on to nothing.
I keep fighting...Lost and Fading
I left home carrying my scars and dreams, hoping Melbourne would be my fresh start — a place where I could finally breathe after years of darkness. I thought I’d find light here, but instead, the weight feels even heavier.
Everywhere I turn, it feels like I’m breaking a little more. Friends, people I once trusted, connections I thought were real — all fading away one by one. Even only friend my only anchor, feels like a distant echo now. And without that, I feel like I’m standing on the edge of everything, holding on to nothing.
I keep fighting silent battles that no one sees. I smile when my chest feels tight, pretending I’m okay, but inside I’m drowning. The job struggles make it even worse — applying everywhere, hearing nothing back, feeling invisible in a city that never stops moving. I can’t even make real friends here; it’s like I don’t belong anywhere.
I came here searching for light, but all I’ve found are deeper shadows.
I’m lost… and some days, it feels like I’m slowly disappearing with them.