to antonio, i know you might never see this and i don’t even know why im writing this i don’t like you one bit right now but there was a time i did. i loved you more than anything. you were my first love, you made me feel so special, i feel like i could be myself with you. after we went no contact i thought about you all the time and i want you to know i do regret not telling a specific person about us sooner, if you read this you’ll know who im talking about. i truly do feel guilty about that. but sometimes i remember that i found out some things about you, and it makes me feel not so guilty. i remember you destroyed me mentally. i should’ve listened to my brother when he warned me about you but i just wanted love, i was so desperate for it, love blinded me. i don’t miss you anymore, but sometimes i wish things went a bit differently so i wouldn’t be so fucked up mentally rn.
I get u so well