I keep myself up at night because I simply don't want to think. I'm currently coming to terms with the fact that my life will not in fact be a smooth road that I can plan out step by step ahead of time, and it's absolutely destroying me. It's 4:30AM where I am and I'm so exhausted, but I know if I try to go to sleep, my brain will keep me up with those thoughts and it'll send me spiraling, so I've stayed up to prevent any of those thoughts from resurfacing
Life is what you make it, some times its hard as hell. What dosen't kill you makes you stronger
Life is not easy but not hard either. It's a spicy mix of both. You are undermining yourself by thinking you can't tackle what comes your way. Whatever the action, do in the name of God and you will see light. You will be guided toward satisfaction and peace.