Anonymous Confession

Honestly I’m too much of a coward to reach back out after I left without saying much back in 2023, but I will always admire your optimism, your tenacity, your smile – your eagerness to help/please others. I have doubts that you even think of me at all or care, really, as you are not one to lament or dwell on the past, and I wish I could be like that, too. I wonder how things would have been had we met under different circumstances (earlier maybe? before we both had ties to others and, in your case, kids). Then again, I am well aware that’s probably not possible due to observances/tradition. I probably read it wrong and perhaps you didn’t feel the same. Heck, I didn’t even recognize I had romantic feelings for you until I was long gone (and I finally worked up the nerve to read the last email I got from you, nearly a year later). I shoved everything else aside for work (and the mountain of things that always needed to be done), so I never even thought of you as anything else but my boss back then. I never forgot the day we had a meeting over lunch and you exclaimed “you’ll be so proud of me!” as you pulled out a pen & paper explaining that you’d take notes on what I had to tell you this time. That big smile on your face and your eyes all lit up - not only did I chuckle (on the inside), but I think your kindness and good heart really shone through to me that day, on a profound and personal level, even with all the chaos going on during that time. At least, its what I recall about you most, in hindsight. Sometimes I want to reach out and tell you these things, just to get it off my chest once and for all, and to ask out if curiosity if there was any romantic feelings you had for me back then. I'm aloof, and not always the best at reading these situations. Then I also recall wanting to reach out, with the way things became toward the end of that year - I worried for your safety and those you cared for/knew, too. It was hard reading the news during that time. But again I couldn't bring myself to do so. Anyway, I don't have much more I'd like to share here, but please take good care of yourself/family/friends etc, as I know you will, and know that you will always be missed and adored, even if the feeling is not mutual, you are someone I will never forget.