Anonymous Confession

Something I wish I could send to my ex:
Even though you may have decided that we are enemies of each other, I never wish hurt or pain on you. Nobody is a bigger enemy to me than myself. During our relationship we both made mistakes. Some of those mistakes weren't spoken about and some of those mistakes hurt me when I made them and it's only now 3 years on I realise that I'm not hurt because we no longer exist in each other's lives but that I'm hurt because I went against my beliefs to have a bit of fun with someone who didn't share those same beliefs. I will love you until the day I die, even when/if I love someone else. The love I have for you will never be as strong for anyone else because I can't trust myself anymore. I can't be the person I want to be or should have been. I'm truly sorry for the many mistakes I made but "sorry" will never fix them and neither should it. The metaphorical knife plunges into my chest every day and night. I am tormented constantly because my actions.