I am depressed, cause I can't keep but wishing/praying I could go back to being 14 yrs old and being able to get a do-over... it's all I think about, every day all day...I don't know how to move on from my mistakes
You can't change the past. You can only have a new future. I know "religion" is not a popular topic today... but you need forever from God. Without it, you won't be able to move on in freedom, devil will just keep bringing it back to your remembering. Remove the legal grounds he uses, by getting forgiveness from Jesus. He won't be able to use it against you after sincere and humble repentant before God.
Hang in there. Life can really suck sometimes. Worst things in my life i did to myself. You have more strength than you know.
Same, I don't know how to make now work. I want to go back to then.